U.S. Government-CLASSIFIED FILE #01666-01
“If I can send the flower of the Andromeda Nation into the hell of war without the smallest pity for the shedding of precious Xiaquin blood, then surely I have the right to remove billions of an inferior race that breeds like vermin”
A.D.O.L.F. (Alien Dictator Organism Liaq Fwex), Xiaquin Chancellor, leader of the Andromedan Supremecy Party, 1945-Present
You have all seen us, our photographs, together. Mein Führer Adolf Hitler and his most learned protégé, I…A.D.O.L.F. His only namesake. His offspring. His child. You have seen these photos but…you look away and disappear back into your daydreams.
You have seen us.
I am not his spawn but I am his. He introduced me to what it was to be human. To hate and to kill the objects of your hatred without remorse. To be as you…are. And once, alone at his Austrian Summer home, as we inhaled the scent of Austrian pine, he looked me in the eye, held me close and in ear-hole he whispered” You are like a little son to me. Together we will rule the world”. And he smiled and, as in your children’s stories and happy Aryan family photo’s I’d seen…I imagined it was a father’s smile.
I do not look like him but he loved me and treated me as his own. So much that he had Goebbels infuse his blood with mine and mine…with his.
We do not have fathers or mothers but if I was to think of the human word ‘father’, the face that I see is that of Adolf Hitler. Today, in his honor, I wear his trademark mustache, tatooed upon my hairless top lip.
Though my body and face have no hair.
Some mornings, as your single sun rose we would walk hand and hand into the Belgian Forests and he would read his poetry. My father was a complex hu-man.
He warned that others of your kind would fear me, that they would probe and dismember me in the name of science. And that only his closest of friends, some of them doctors, would be allowed to ‘study’ me, and only for the elevation of the Nazi agenda. The Nazi’s were my friends and soon I became a regular at dinners with his closest confidants. Fore only they were allowed to see me. I was Hitler’s secret. And I loved it. I loved him. And he loved me.
Adolf Eichmann was like one of your ‘Uncles’ to me. As I studied Mein Komph he was my tutor and mentor. He understood the art of mass extermination and taught me the pleasures of orchestrating genocide. I shall never forget his lessons.
Josef Kramer who was Dubbed “The Beast of Belsen” took me under his wing. I got my own leather trench coat, boots, officer’s cap and whip. He supervised the extermination camps at Auschwitz and Belsen and, in disguise, I was allowed to witness the purification of Germany…then of Poland. Together we terrorized the prisoners and each day he and I discovered new means of inflicting not only pain but psychological suffering as well. His hatred was pure. He was a Nazi Hero…and so was I.
Though I would never receive the fan-fare or the notoriety that I deserved for my deeds…I did, however, get the medals.
One night, Adolf and I walked, in plain view, through a prison barracks and I enjoyed the look of horror on their faces. What was that..thing with the Fuhrer? Was I real? Or a hallucination brought on by endless labor and no food? I get tingles just thinking about their fear.
Ilse Koch was my first human lover. Given to me by her master, Josef Kramer, she taught me how to please a human woman…and then how to inflict pain unique to the human female anatomy…which gave her such pleasure that she said ” I love you”.
We made love everywhere and made the inmates watch. Shock? Terror? They thought me to be your mythological Satan. They watched and cried at Ilse being loved by what to their eyes must have been a monster. But it was just me…A.D.O.L.F. Ilse had me peel the skin off of tatooed inmates and make lampshades out of them. Art and sex were her favorite mixture. I learned alot about the depravity of the human imagination. Of the many ways you dream up to torture on another. And I smile.
Adolf Hitler went from prisoner to Fuhrer in less than twenty years. But it was our meeting that began to give the Third Reich the technological advantage over the British and the Americans.
He often wrote of us together and what we could do. He from the ground and we, Xiaquin…from the air. From our ‘discs’ we would rain fire down upon the inferiors.
I gave my father our technology, our magnetic propulsion systems, the coordinates of the exact light speed dials of white dwarfs and black holes to move from your Milky Way to my beloved Andromeda…and beyond. If I had had our Andromedean engineers, designers and mechanics we would have had an army in one year. But with Hitlers human machinery…we had…only one.
And we were so close. So close to punching a hole from my world to yours again. So close to bringing my breed…to you.
And, if I was his ‘child’ then I was his bastard child indeed. To be hidden from view. Isolated…and not caged in a cage but caged within fortified castle walls and contained within landscaped courtyards.
But studied I was. Joseph Mengele was my personal physician.
He used my blood and cells to attempt to procreate my species. I was mixed with countless human subjects producing monstrosities. Some euthanized…many survive today in your nightmares…in your sewers and abondoned subways. They wait for me to give them their orders. Hitler loved me…as long as I stayed hidden. The faceless Nazi at his side.
I asked when he would introduce me to the world? When would my technology and scientific advancements be made public? He promised that when The Soviet Union fell..we would stand at the podium together. Him…and at his side, me. A.D.O.L.F., his son.
And yet, he never took me out in public. I had to hide upon the rooftops and look down upon the pageantry that accompanied the book burnings. And I marched alone, at night, or if he was high enough on amphetamines he would have me brought out into the Berlin courtyard and we would goose step,side by side Hitler and I, in our own surreal revelrous celebrations. Fire and flags, Wagner and then…he kissed me. Gently…like humans do in the American movies. We were not lovers…but we loved.
My mind absorbs everything. Rapidly. I learned all about the inferior swine that made filthy the Aryan dream. The Jew and the Negro, the Oriental and the mud peoples of the uncivilized world. We drank and ate hate. He was a beautiful dreamer and I his muse. All who did not look like the supreme race would perish. All who did not test out as pure…would perish.
Then…I had an epiphany. I look into the mirror and see a Nazi. I wear the uniform. I have the medals and the tatooed mustache. But…I am not Aryan.
He kept all mirrors from my compound. He said that I was the exception. That I , being a non-human, was inherently superior to all non-Aryan humans. And I believed him. Until the true face of Adolf Hitler stared coldly into my eyes. It was a crisp winter night and as I was escorted down the path from my chalet to Hitler’s…I overheard him.
I overheard him speaking to that human scum Hermann Goering who never understood Adolf’s love for me…and Hitler told him “That thing is only going to live until we have the technology we need. We will travel to his world of animals and beasts and enslave or kill them all as well. It is they, these ‘aliens’ who pose the greatest threat to the Aryan race. They will burn in our Andromedean camps.” And, from behind a leafless tree I gazed into his eyes and saw that he…my father…was the monster.
Both of my hearts were broken that night. And my love for Adolf Hitler became my rage. But on my face no emotion shown. We walked at night…but I dreamt only of his slow death. And as I fed The American’s and British top secret files and the locations of his armies…the tide of the war began to change.
On a snowy night,May 1st, 1945, as bombs fell over Berlin he had me dragged to his room where he and Ava lay nude. He demanded that I fly him and Ava back to Andromeda. To teach the Xiaquin Tribe and the Andromedean Nation the ways of Mein Komph. I smiled “Yes, Mein Fuhrer, they must be taught your ways in order to return and finish what you’ve started”. He exhaled and reached out to hug me.
My teeth and claws protruded and my superior speed found his personal guard without arms or legs. My superior tolerance for pain and ability to rapidly heal, left the machine guns of this ancient race, inferior. And what I’d learned about hatred from Hitler turned against him. Ava went first headless and then I eviscerated her. Hitler screamed in terror and I realized…he was only…human.
When he was discovered by the Americans they would say that he committed suicide. A self inflicted gunshot to the head. Look closely, human swine, at that photograph. And you’ll see that his head is separated from his body.
They will never tell you what they really found. With speed that to the human eye would look as a blur…I ripped his head from his neck and yanked his heart up out of his open throat…and let him look into my large black eyes as I squeezed his heart until it burst in my hands. And the look on his face…the look of surprise…like that of one of your Zookeepers who, after loving an ape with whip and with chains…is heartbroken when that same ape, when given just a spl;it second’s opportunity, turns upon his captor and lifts him up and brings his spine to crush upon it’s hairy knee.
My friends, my uncles and my lover.Those you know as the most heinous human monsters ever to be born of human woman…the Nazi Elite…they all either perished that night, took their own lives in jail…or today hide in fear. They have spread all over the world, trying to blend in. You think they hide from you, from your Interpol and your Hague…but no..they are hiding from me. And my revenge. They pretend that I did not exist. Hitler’s only son, his non-human bastard, A.D.O.L.F.
I was never marooned here. Never stuck…here. Instead I came here to study you. To study your most charismatic leaders. And I found…instead of evidence to support your existence…evidence to justify your extermination.
I took what I learned from my father, the Fuhrer and spread this knowledge to my homeland, mein Mutherlund, The Andromeda Nation. And this teaching of hatred and annihilation, in it’s purest form, blossomed. Of the Xiaquin, I exterminated all but the strongest and most cunning, the Liaq Fwex. We,now, are indeed the superior race in all of the Galaxy. We are the supreme race. The Alien Aryans. Zeig Heil!
We descend down upon you now, an Alien Nazi hoarde. We know the truth that even Hitler did not know. That it is not just the Jew and the Negro, the Indian and the Oriental…or even the Mud Peoples of earth that are inferior…but the Aryan, too.
All humans are inferior to us. All humans plan on monopolizing the Universe. They plan on colonizing and pilfering Andromeda, on stealing our resources for their own gain. And worst of all..these vile Humans…they breed like vermin.
We are the purest race in the three known galaxies. We must keep our blood pure. There must be no interbreeding between human and Andromedan. This we see as our God Given Reich.
The Human Problem must be dealt with by any and all means. They must not procreate even one more year.
For us, this is not a problem you can turn a blind eye to-one to be solved by small concessions or by the act of forgivness. For us, it is a problem of whether our Galaxy can ever recover its health, whether the Human spirit can ever really be eradicated. Don’t be misled into thinking you can fight a disease without killing the carrier, without destroying the bacillus. Don’t think you can fight racial tuberculosis without taking care to rid the three galaxies of the carrier of that racial tuberculosis. This Human contamination will not subside, this poisoning of the galaxies will not end, until the carrier himself, the Human, has been banished from our midst.